Phyllis Schlafly Interview

[desertvixen]

So, Washington University in St. Louis is presenting Phyllis Schlafly with a honorary doctrate.  It wouldn't be my choice, but I'm not the one making it. 

She did an interview with their school paper which makes for some interesting reading.

Phyllis Schlafly Interview

What do you mean when you say, "Feminists want women to think that they can't succeed"?

Everything that they are teaching in Women's Studies and in those courses is that women are victims and that marriage is unfair to women and that it makes them second-class, that men are naturally batterers and that if you get married you'll probably get beaten up. It's a dreary picture that they paint for women of the life of a married women or a mother.

I guess I missed that class. 

So you see the feminist position as saying that there is one acceptable path for women in the world, the path of the career woman?

That's right. Because they think that if you give them the choice, too many will pick getting married.

The two options are not always exclusive.  It is possible to have both career and family.  Men have been doing it for ages... oh wait.

Could you clarify some of the statements that you made in Maine last year about martial rape?

I think that when you get married you have consented to sex. That's what marriage is all about, I don't know if maybe these girls missed sex ed. That doesn't mean the husband can beat you up, we have plenty of laws against assault and battery. If there is any violence or mistreatment that can be dealt with by criminal prosecution, by divorce or in various ways. When it gets down to calling it rape though, it isn't rape, it's a he said-she said where it's just too easy to lie about it.

"I think that when you get married you have consented to sex."  It's not a blanket consent form.  Being married does NOT mean that women have to give it up anytime he wants it.  If she never wants to have sex, then you have bigger issues that probably require counseling.  Or there's always talking about the subject.  There may be a physical or emotional reason that can be dealt with.

"That doesn't mean the husband can beat you up, we have plenty of laws against assault and battery."  OK - so it's okay for him to force you to have sex (whether physically or by nagging you into it), but it's not okay for him to hit you.  I have to tell you, I think the former is far more damaging than the latter one.  And really, if you have to nag your partner into it, what is the point?

 I mean, I have to admit here - there was a fairly long period where I just did not feel like having sex after I had my daughter (well after the six week mark).  I just didn't feel any desire to, at all.  It may have been hormonal.  I missed feeling like I wanted to have sex, and I'm grateful that my husband was understanding and didn't let his frustration become an issue between the two of us. 

 But honestly, if one partner is just submitting out of duty, is it really worth it?

To me, though, this is the saddest bit: "That's what marriage is all about"

Funny.  I thought marriage was about partnership.  And love, which may be expressed through sex.  It may also be expressed by a husband getting up on the 2AM feeding so his wife can sleep, or by a wife doing something similar for a husband. 

Marriage is about more than sex - it's about being partners.

And then she accuses feminists of wanting to keep marital rape in the grab-bag of goodies.

Sometimes, I really just find other people depressing.

DV

Comments

[garpu.livejournal.com]

I don't even know where to start. I think people like her illustrate why feminism is needed.

[desert-vixen.livejournal.com]

Yes. Especially the part about choice, because she has obviously chosen to be a "career woman" whose career consists of telling US to stay home.

DV

[cinchntouch.livejournal.com]

"I think that when you get married you have consented to sex. That's what marriage is all about."

I would imagine that Ms. Schlafy is probably one of the first people to "defend" marriage and the traditional family and here she is making statements that undermine any good that marriage can represent.

What I find most repellent (and I am going to spare you the laundry list of things I find distateful about her statements) is that she skirts the issue of providing a moral framework for sex in a marriage by bringing in the statement, "it's a he said-she said where it's just too easy to lie about it."

If she actually sees marriage in such a legalistic way I think she misses the point completely. Call me old fashioned (I own it, I am) but I believe that there is a right way and a wrong way to love a person. Sex is a complimentary part of a marriage but it is hardly the center of a marriage (at least past the first couple of months). To conflate sex with rape, and then to conflate communication in a marriage into "he said, she said." is outrageous. A wife is not property. I like to think that in the real world, vs. Ms. Schafley's dream world, most men realize this. Granted, I think getting a man to do chores is always going to be a hassle, but to justify rape or any form of sexual abuse is offensive to women, to men and to the institution of marriage.

It is so outrageous I can't even make my point coherently.

[desert-vixen.livejournal.com]

Yes. It also assumes that the man will always want sex more than the woman will.

I find her quite distasteful as well.

DV

[cinchntouch.livejournal.com]

I commented to another friend that even if men are total horndogs it doesn't mean that they are rapists or that they would want to have sex with someone who doesn't want to have sex with them.

[desert-vixen.livejournal.com]

I think that the actual physical danger is less a threat than nagging. If she eventually says yes, then some guys are going to think it's okay to pressure or beg. Or he's going to nag about how she never wants sex.

I don't think it's good for either partner to feel they're owed anything. Now, if one partner never wants to have sex, then that is a problem that needs to be addressed, either medically or psychologically.

DV

[betray802.livejournal.com]

And on the other side ...

When i was in HS (1989-93) a flyer circulated around school, giving 'warning signs' that you were dating a budding sexual predator. These are the ones that stuck in my mind:

"If a boy asks you out and you tell him NO, and he asks you again at a later date, HE IS A STALKER! ALERT THE AUTHORITIES!"

"If you are out with your boyfriend and he reaches to take your hand or 'steals' a kiss without asking your permission, HE IS A PREDATOR! SCREAM for the police!"

"ALWAYS alert the PROPER AUTHORITIES! Your mother is NO help! She has bound herself and you to a lifetime of sexual slavery, when she said 'I do' to your father. Your parents WILL NOT help you!"

Like I didn't already have enough reasons to be counting days until I could escape.

Music of the Moment: If A Broken Heart Could Kill by Keith Whitley

[desert-vixen.livejournal.com]

Yikes. I think I'm glad I missed that period.

DV