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desertvixenI thought this book deserved its own post.
I managed to read through it in about 3 hours, after starting it while they were doing my oil change, and being unwilling to stop reading once I had started.
The author is a female Arabic linguist (who went to school with the husband and various friends) who served in Iraq during the invasion and afterwards, then got out of the military. It's an excellent book, although I wouldn't want my mother to read it. It's raw and honest, and a lot of times during the book, I was nodding - I'd either lived or seen something similar.
So much of what she wrote was painfully true.
Like the fact that a military woman (especially a single military woman) only has two choices - bitch or slut. (The slut sleeps with everyone, the bitch sleeps with everyone except YOU, as the unfunny remark goes.) You can be a whore, or maybe a "good time girl" - or you can be a frigid bitch. Married women at least get the "faithful wife" category, but even we get pressured and propositioned. Yes, by the same men who say stuff like they'd kill their wife if she cheated on them.
Or how it only takes one bad female to screw things for the rest of us. As long as the guys have met that one lazy/incompetent/easy/whiny/tearful female, they feel free to paint all of us with that brush. There's always that one female who trades shamelessly on her sexualality, who flirts incessantly, and who blames bad behavior on PMS. They screw things up. Never mind that we're not allowed to do the reverse.
It points out for anyone who missed it, why the saying is "brothers in arms", and not "siblings in arms". Because despite the fact that we're their sisters-in-arms, we're women first and soldiers second, too much of the time. As the saying goes, "bros before hos". It's alive and well in this Army.
It's also honest about the job linguists face, the different directions they get pulled in.
She also talks about something that I have come up against before. Just because we are in the military does not mean we agree with all the decisions made by the government. But we do our job, and we support those decisions - because our first loyalty is to the men and women with whom we serve. We do the job so everyone can come home in one piece. That's more important to me than any political decision.
This is hands down the best book I have read about being female and being in the Army. Hopefully, the blonde on the cover with the big weapon will become another female face to this conflict, someone to balance out the 2 big ones we have - Jessica Lynch and Lynndie England.
I hope so, at least.
I managed to read through it in about 3 hours, after starting it while they were doing my oil change, and being unwilling to stop reading once I had started.
The author is a female Arabic linguist (who went to school with the husband and various friends) who served in Iraq during the invasion and afterwards, then got out of the military. It's an excellent book, although I wouldn't want my mother to read it. It's raw and honest, and a lot of times during the book, I was nodding - I'd either lived or seen something similar.
So much of what she wrote was painfully true.
Like the fact that a military woman (especially a single military woman) only has two choices - bitch or slut. (The slut sleeps with everyone, the bitch sleeps with everyone except YOU, as the unfunny remark goes.) You can be a whore, or maybe a "good time girl" - or you can be a frigid bitch. Married women at least get the "faithful wife" category, but even we get pressured and propositioned. Yes, by the same men who say stuff like they'd kill their wife if she cheated on them.
Or how it only takes one bad female to screw things for the rest of us. As long as the guys have met that one lazy/incompetent/easy/whiny/tearful female, they feel free to paint all of us with that brush. There's always that one female who trades shamelessly on her sexualality, who flirts incessantly, and who blames bad behavior on PMS. They screw things up. Never mind that we're not allowed to do the reverse.
It points out for anyone who missed it, why the saying is "brothers in arms", and not "siblings in arms". Because despite the fact that we're their sisters-in-arms, we're women first and soldiers second, too much of the time. As the saying goes, "bros before hos". It's alive and well in this Army.
It's also honest about the job linguists face, the different directions they get pulled in.
She also talks about something that I have come up against before. Just because we are in the military does not mean we agree with all the decisions made by the government. But we do our job, and we support those decisions - because our first loyalty is to the men and women with whom we serve. We do the job so everyone can come home in one piece. That's more important to me than any political decision.
This is hands down the best book I have read about being female and being in the Army. Hopefully, the blonde on the cover with the big weapon will become another female face to this conflict, someone to balance out the 2 big ones we have - Jessica Lynch and Lynndie England.
I hope so, at least.
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no subject
Date: 2005-09-28 10:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-28 01:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-28 04:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-29 01:46 pm (UTC)Question for you: How prevalant is the idea that "...we're their sisters-in-arms, we're women first and soldiers second,"? Would you say, about 50% of the time? 80% Close to 100%?
no subject
Date: 2005-09-30 03:44 pm (UTC)How prevalant is the idea that "...we're their sisters-in-arms, we're women first and soldiers second,"? Would you say, about 50% of the time? 80% Close to 100%?
I wouldn't want to try and put a number on it, but... more prevalent than I wish. A lot of times, it depends on the woman and on the situation. There's quite a bit of men who are very reasonable on the sexual harassment issue UNTIL it happens to one of their buddies. Then she's a bitch, so on and so forth. Men stick together, especially military men - it's trained into them. Despite all the expressed wishes to protect us, that gets left behind in these situations. Then, the woman's not part of the group.
Also, if we dare express an opinion about sexual harassment, or more sadly, rape, that runs contrary to the men's opinions, we're not part of the group. (As a test - ask a bunch of random male sports fans about the Mike Tyson rape trial. Despite the fact that he was convicted, a lot of the guys I work with will tell you that a)it was unfair, b)he didn't do it, or my personal unfavorite c)"She must have wanted it, otherwise she wouldn't have gone there then." Kobe Bryant is another similar example.)
DV
no subject
Date: 2005-09-30 04:27 pm (UTC)Also, if we dare express an opinion about sexual harassment, or more sadly, rape, that runs contrary to the men's opinions, we're not part of the group.
I just saw the phrase I was looking for in another post. Men get serious bunker syndrome. It's similar to all the men who know another guy is cheating, but don't tell his female partner - EVEN if they're her friend as well. Why? He's one of the guys and she's a girl.
DV
no subject
Date: 2005-09-30 06:07 pm (UTC)You can tell the author that the sale of at least one copy can be chalked up to you. :)
no subject
Date: 2005-09-30 07:10 pm (UTC)Best of luck to you in whatever you choose to do. My dad was career Army and while I considered the Air Force after college, he talked me out of it based on the same attitudes and beliefs that you and the book describe. I'm not sure I could have dealt with it, and kudos to you for doing it.
no subject
Date: 2005-09-30 08:49 pm (UTC)Hello/Love my rifle more than you
Date: 2005-10-17 07:09 pm (UTC)Kim