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Motherhood and Guilt
Jul. 14th, 2006 09:00 pmSo, the promised post. Warning, it's a little ranty.
Thursday, we had our pregnancy class. This one was on nutrition during breastfeeding, taught by the registered dietician/lieutenant who's taught us before. I would venture to say she has never had an issue with her weight, judging from the way she presents some of the topics - that, and the fact that she has the build that screams "tiny through killer genetics". While I have not issues with my weight in regard to the rest of society, I have had issues with it through the military, partly due to the fact that the military standard is ridiculous. Any table that considers a woman who is five-three and 136 pounds - a woman who regularly runs and does other weight-building exercises (ruck marches, pushups, etc) on a regular basis - over the weight limit needs to be addressed. But that is a whole other issue....
Apparently the Surgeon General's goal is for 50% of women to exclusively breastfeed for six months, and for 25% to exclusively breastfeed for 12 months, by the year 2010.
Here's the current stats:
Nationwide in 2003, of the infants who were now 19-35 months of age,
* 71% were breastfed at birth,
* 36% were breastfed at 6 months,
* 17% were breastfed at 12 months,
* 41% were exclusively breastfed at 3 months,and
* 14% were exclusively breastfed at 6 months.
(Courtesy of: http://www.breastfeedingbasics.org/cgi-bin/deliver.cgi/content/Introduction/sta_us.html)
So here's part one of my question. If the government thinks this is an important subject, how about helping women achieve it? Note, helping, not scaring women into it. The recent ads that cast NOT breastfeeding in a dangerous light really irk me, because not every woman can breastfeed for various reasons. Not every woman is comfortable with the idea of breastfeeding. Why should they be made to feel as if they are endangering their child? Pointing out the benefits of breastfeeding is one thing - scare tactics is another.
Another part of the problem is the simple fact that many women MUST work. It is not a choice, it is a requirement to maintain a certain standard of life. Not all women are in jobs where they can just quit because they're having a baby. Single mothers do not have the option, generally, of not working. Yet the requirements that women be given a decent maternity leave are pretty much non-existent. While it is theoretically possible for women to work and breastfeed, in the actual application, it may or may not be feasible.
Yes, legislation protects women's right to breastfeed in public in many places. Yet people still have issues with seeing breastfeeding mothers. There's no requirement for public places to provide areas that are suitable for breastfeeding. Women can help this problem by actively patronizing places that DO offer adequate areas, and ensuring that they know why they are being patronized - or not, as the case may be.
Part two of my question. Apparently, the numbers say that the average woman will take a year to get back to her normal weight. The Army gives us six months. If we can't make weight by then, it's into the Army Weight Control Program. Which is NOT good for our careers. It follows you around. Yet this little skinny lieutenant who has OBVIOUSLY never had to deal with it is trying to tell us that, well if it's the best thing for you and your baby, then going on the program for a few months is what you should do. Um, no. Not just no, but hell no. I will NOT put myself through that hell again. Although part of me wanted to have her come give this brief to our commander, who has a Thing about overweight soldiers and soldiers on profiles.
I guess the real question is, why does every decision about motherhood seem to be underlaid with guilt? Fatherhood doesn't seem to be as fraught with guilt. Why do women get stuck carrying all the guilt? The really sad thing is that women do it to OURSELVES. If you don't believe that, check out some of the breastfeeding communities. I hate to break it to those people, but choosing not to breastfeed is not equivalent to child abuse. Sacrifice is a big part of parenthood, but women should be able to make what is an intensely personal decison without everyone else weighing in with a guilt trip.
This is on my mind a lot more, obviously, as the MicroVixen is only about three weeks away from making her appearance. Yes, I plan to breastfeed for about the first 5-6 months, when I will have to stop to attend military school because a) I can't take her with me and b) I can't guarantee that I'll be able to pump as needed.
DV
Thursday, we had our pregnancy class. This one was on nutrition during breastfeeding, taught by the registered dietician/lieutenant who's taught us before. I would venture to say she has never had an issue with her weight, judging from the way she presents some of the topics - that, and the fact that she has the build that screams "tiny through killer genetics". While I have not issues with my weight in regard to the rest of society, I have had issues with it through the military, partly due to the fact that the military standard is ridiculous. Any table that considers a woman who is five-three and 136 pounds - a woman who regularly runs and does other weight-building exercises (ruck marches, pushups, etc) on a regular basis - over the weight limit needs to be addressed. But that is a whole other issue....
Apparently the Surgeon General's goal is for 50% of women to exclusively breastfeed for six months, and for 25% to exclusively breastfeed for 12 months, by the year 2010.
Here's the current stats:
Nationwide in 2003, of the infants who were now 19-35 months of age,
* 71% were breastfed at birth,
* 36% were breastfed at 6 months,
* 17% were breastfed at 12 months,
* 41% were exclusively breastfed at 3 months,and
* 14% were exclusively breastfed at 6 months.
(Courtesy of: http://www.breastfeedingbasics.org/cgi-bin/deliver.cgi/content/Introduction/sta_us.html)
So here's part one of my question. If the government thinks this is an important subject, how about helping women achieve it? Note, helping, not scaring women into it. The recent ads that cast NOT breastfeeding in a dangerous light really irk me, because not every woman can breastfeed for various reasons. Not every woman is comfortable with the idea of breastfeeding. Why should they be made to feel as if they are endangering their child? Pointing out the benefits of breastfeeding is one thing - scare tactics is another.
Another part of the problem is the simple fact that many women MUST work. It is not a choice, it is a requirement to maintain a certain standard of life. Not all women are in jobs where they can just quit because they're having a baby. Single mothers do not have the option, generally, of not working. Yet the requirements that women be given a decent maternity leave are pretty much non-existent. While it is theoretically possible for women to work and breastfeed, in the actual application, it may or may not be feasible.
Yes, legislation protects women's right to breastfeed in public in many places. Yet people still have issues with seeing breastfeeding mothers. There's no requirement for public places to provide areas that are suitable for breastfeeding. Women can help this problem by actively patronizing places that DO offer adequate areas, and ensuring that they know why they are being patronized - or not, as the case may be.
Part two of my question. Apparently, the numbers say that the average woman will take a year to get back to her normal weight. The Army gives us six months. If we can't make weight by then, it's into the Army Weight Control Program. Which is NOT good for our careers. It follows you around. Yet this little skinny lieutenant who has OBVIOUSLY never had to deal with it is trying to tell us that, well if it's the best thing for you and your baby, then going on the program for a few months is what you should do. Um, no. Not just no, but hell no. I will NOT put myself through that hell again. Although part of me wanted to have her come give this brief to our commander, who has a Thing about overweight soldiers and soldiers on profiles.
I guess the real question is, why does every decision about motherhood seem to be underlaid with guilt? Fatherhood doesn't seem to be as fraught with guilt. Why do women get stuck carrying all the guilt? The really sad thing is that women do it to OURSELVES. If you don't believe that, check out some of the breastfeeding communities. I hate to break it to those people, but choosing not to breastfeed is not equivalent to child abuse. Sacrifice is a big part of parenthood, but women should be able to make what is an intensely personal decison without everyone else weighing in with a guilt trip.
This is on my mind a lot more, obviously, as the MicroVixen is only about three weeks away from making her appearance. Yes, I plan to breastfeed for about the first 5-6 months, when I will have to stop to attend military school because a) I can't take her with me and b) I can't guarantee that I'll be able to pump as needed.
DV
