In all fairness to http://www.andtheylivedhappilyeverafter.com

[desertvixen]

http://www.andtheylivedhappilyeverafter.com/15.htm

She also has an article defending same-sex marriage.

I admit that at first I was ambivalent about the issue, thinking that it was, perhaps, yet another attempt by a fringe group to redefine the institution of marriage to suit their particular circumstances, similar to the advocates of common law marriage.

But then I realized something. Same sex couples aren't trying to redefine marriage at all. They love it just the way it is. They simply want to be included in it, and allowed to share in the joy of it along with their heterosexual counterparts.

http://www.andtheylivedhappilyeverafter.com/45.htm

She also disagrees with the "Surrendered Wife" deal.

http://www.andtheylivedhappilyeverafter.com/53.htm

But then comes back to, "cutting off your long hair means you're going to divorce your spouse".

Women know how much men love their hair, and so when they cut it all off they are effectively cutting men off, from their beauty, from their attractiveness to them, from their love. It's a clear gesture of defiance, or dissatisfaction, or despair, a spiteful kind of emotional kick in the balls.

DV

Comments

[kishiriadgr.livejournal.com]

I think that women might tend to cut their hair off before breaking with husbands, but that doesn't mean that cutting off hair means they WILL break with their husbands. It does usually mean you're breaking with something, though. Some women cut it off after having a baby, others during a career change (something I'm contemplating), etc. It's a gesture that often accompanies a change in gears in life.

So does a tattoo.

[xinef.livejournal.com]

But then comes back to, "cutting off your long hair means you're going to divorce your spouse".

Hmmm, my hair is halfway between BSL and waist-long. Everyone (including me) thinks that it looks better short. For now, I'm having fun with it long, but I strongly suspect that I'll get tired of it having it long, eventually, and will get it cut. No divorce symbolism, any more than the previous times I've let it grow and then gotten it cut short. May be true in some cases, but is a really silly generalization.

[kishiriadgr.livejournal.com]

She's missing something about the "Surrendered Wife" thing, the bit that Steve and I found most creepy and objectionable. I've read interviews with Laura Doyle (and she started this movement over ten years ago; AFAIK she is still at it) and it's not that she's completely given over her will and selfhood it's that *she encourages women to lie about it*. The author here doesn't realize that men can take advantage of their wives' submission because the wives are supposed to keep it secret from their husbands and sneak off to "surrender circles" to talk about it.

I foresaw a lot of marriages wrecking out of "Surrendered Wife" not because of women getting frustrated with being doormats (and let's take a second to point out that Doyle doesn't seem to realize there's a lot of ground between being a doormat and being a shrew), but that men are going to wonder what the hell happened to their wives who used to be reliable about things like helping navigate the car.

The "navigate the car" thing is the most concrete example. "Instead of saying, 'Brian, that's the exit to the mall,' when he's going to overshoot, you're supposed to be silent, surrendering to where he thinks the mall is. You're supposed to let him get further and further lost and frustrated and angry rather than telling him where the exit is and getting to your destination.

Since you don't ever speak your mind, he's miraculously supposed to come around and give you everything you want. I've no idea how that's supposed to work, but Doyle insists it's the inevitable fruit of this deception.

More likely he's going to run off with a more interesting, more helpful woman, I think.

[soldiergrrrl.livejournal.com]

And John would look at me and say "Why in the world did you let me drive right past it???" He tends to not realize his exit is coming up when we're talking.

Then again, Doyle would probably tell me to not talk to him, and that would solve that problem.

[kishiriadgr.livejournal.com]

Yeah, Steve does too. He's kind of ADD so he tends to drive on autopilot. My way of redirecting him (and he reads this LJ so he can attest to this) is saying, "Don't we want to head west on the 8?" when he keeps cruising up on the 805. There *are* nice ways of pointing things out.

[soldiergrrrl.livejournal.com]

Yep...I tend to just kind of gently remind John, or honestly, I drive. He doesn't *like* to drive, and I do, so that works. For him, cars are tools. For me, they're toys. (Dangerous toys, and they deserve a lot of respect, but toys nonetheless.)

:-D

[garpu.livejournal.com]

I generally don't mention it when Steve misses an exit, because I have no sense of direction whatsoever. But if it's something that I notice and he doesn't, odds are I'll be direct, since it's damn rare that I know where I"m going. ;)

[the-blue-fenix.livejournal.com]

The "navigate the car" thing is the most concrete example. "Instead of saying, 'Brian, that's the exit to the mall,' when he's going to overshoot, you're supposed to be silent, surrendering to where he thinks the mall is. You're supposed to let him get further and further lost and frustrated and angry rather than telling him where the exit is and getting to your destination.

Since you don't ever speak your mind, he's miraculously supposed to come around and give you everything you want. I've no idea how that's supposed to work, but Doyle insists it's the inevitable fruit of this deception.

Passive-aggression, your key to a happy marriage. Shudder.

None too flattering to men, either.

[the-blue-fenix.livejournal.com]

Re long hair -- so, all men have exactly the same tastes? And they also can't be trusted to express their opinions on things like hair length?