There's a whole lot of romanticism around "teen sex" that goes from confusion to worse than I care to think about.
The planned parenthood advice site has this exchange (http://www.teenwire.com/ask/2005/as-20050728p1080-rape.php):
Im 14, im a guy. I thought i was bi, but the other day, i let a guy have sex with me, i didnt like it that much, i told him to stop, but he kept doing it, was that rape?
[ more reassuring noises elided ] You may want to check out the Web site MaleSurvivor.org, which offers information, support, and referrals to counseling for men who have been raped. You can also visit the Rape, Incest, and Abuse National Network (RAINN) Web site, or call its hotline for free, confidential counseling, at 1-800-656-HOPE.
Now as far as I can see it damwell WAS no questions rape. A fourteen year old male thinks maybe he might be -- not even gay, but 'bi' -- at at time in his life when he's liable to experience an erection from ANYTHING: admiring/envy of a pretty girl, a healthy guy, the kneading of a cat's paws in his lap, the sight of two dogs in the backyard humping, getting his scrote twisted in his underroos ... any sight, scent, notion or memory he might mistake for the cause of his body's arousal. Mostly what he needs is time to get used to it. He certainly does NOT need some predator coming around "explaining" things or "re-assuring" him or for shure "demonstrating" on him.
It's difficult for me to imagine any circumstances where a 13, 14, even 15 year old of either sex or any orientation can enter sexual relationships with valid non-impaired consent. Anybody older, bigger, richer; anybody in position of academic, religious, atheletic or financial authority; anybody more experienced, more persuasive or just more aggressive is in position to exploit, coerce, or deceive such a naif into some kind of a rape -- unless the 13-year old is the bigger, older partner and THAT's just WORSE. And yes I'm aware of Juliet's age when she married Romeo and no, I don't agree that the "happy ending" refutes my point.
And I'm concerned that the societal "permission" given to the TEENS is perceived by those teens as not only (and logically) permission to their rapists. It's as if parental and general higher authority has abdicated any responsibility to protect and enforce their refusals. "You decide, and you enforce it -- if anything goes wrong, well, call this 1-800 number the following day and learn how to start dealing with consequences. Get a pill, get a penicillin shot, and try not to be quite so stupid when you're FIFteen, huh?"
Then those borderline parents who're wishy-washy but might somehow muster the gumption to stand up to the predators are cut out of the loop by institutions and rules that presuppose parents are the most likely suspect in the predation department. So weak parents are just more collateral damage in sexual revolution.
*snarl*
I assure myself that -- probably -- the mainstream press has gotten most of the significant details about most such tales all wrong and I'm getting steamed out of proportion to the problem.
in related news
The planned parenthood advice site has this exchange (http://www.teenwire.com/ask/2005/as-20050728p1080-rape.php):
Im 14, im a guy. I thought i was bi, but the other day, i let a guy have sex with me, i didnt like it that much, i told him to stop, but he kept doing it, was that rape?
[ more reassuring noises elided ] You may want to check out the Web site MaleSurvivor.org, which offers information, support, and referrals to counseling for men who have been raped. You can also visit the Rape, Incest, and Abuse National Network (RAINN) Web site, or call its hotline for free, confidential counseling, at 1-800-656-HOPE.
Now as far as I can see it damwell WAS no questions rape. A fourteen year old male thinks maybe he might be -- not even gay, but 'bi' -- at at time in his life when he's liable to experience an erection from ANYTHING: admiring/envy of a pretty girl, a healthy guy, the kneading of a cat's paws in his lap, the sight of two dogs in the backyard humping, getting his scrote twisted in his underroos ... any sight, scent, notion or memory he might mistake for the cause of his body's arousal. Mostly what he needs is time to get used to it. He certainly does NOT need some predator coming around "explaining" things or "re-assuring" him or for shure "demonstrating" on him.
It's difficult for me to imagine any circumstances where a 13, 14, even 15 year old of either sex or any orientation can enter sexual relationships with valid non-impaired consent. Anybody older, bigger, richer; anybody in position of academic, religious, atheletic or financial authority; anybody more experienced, more persuasive or just more aggressive is in position to exploit, coerce, or deceive such a naif into some kind of a rape -- unless the 13-year old is the bigger, older partner and THAT's just WORSE. And yes I'm aware of Juliet's age when she married Romeo and no, I don't agree that the "happy ending" refutes my point.
And I'm concerned that the societal "permission" given to the TEENS is perceived by those teens as not only (and logically) permission to their rapists. It's as if parental and general higher authority has abdicated any responsibility to protect and enforce their refusals. "You decide, and you enforce it -- if anything goes wrong, well, call this 1-800 number the following day and learn how to start dealing with consequences. Get a pill, get a penicillin shot, and try not to be quite so stupid when you're FIFteen, huh?"
Then those borderline parents who're wishy-washy but might somehow muster the gumption to stand up to the predators are cut out of the loop by institutions and rules that presuppose parents are the most likely suspect in the predation department. So weak parents are just more collateral damage in sexual revolution.
*snarl*
I assure myself that -- probably -- the mainstream press has gotten most of the significant details about most such tales all wrong and I'm getting steamed out of proportion to the problem.
But I'm still proud of my shotgun.