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Fox Sports on the weekend's games:
MUST FLEE TV
Bills at Lions: Detroit sports fans, take heart. Your Lions may be the worst franchise in the NFL, but your Tigers just knocked off the Yankees. Mike Martz may be hailed as a genius in some circles, but Jim Leyland is the real Motor City Maestro after turning a moribund franchise around in just one year.
Desperate Lions fans are now hoping to make Rod Marinelli more Leyland-like. They are encouraging him to grow a thick, bristly moustache. They are mailing him cartons of cigarettes. Unfortunately, their plan backfired. Instead of morphing into Jim Leyland, Marinelli has started emulating Citizen Kane's Jeb Leland. You can see him on the sidelines during games twirling a shredded playbook.
While Marinelli is coming to terms with the hard realities of Lions football, Dick Jauron is on a homecoming tour. Last week, his Bills were routed by a Bears team he coached to a 13-3 record in 2001. And a 4-12 record in 2002. And a 5-11 record in 2000. You get the picture. This week, he faces the Lions team he coached briefly at the end of last season. He was around just long enough to inspire a Fire Dick Jauron website.
Jauron's days as a conservative play caller appear to be behind him: he's now a fourth down gambler with a taste for trickery. Of course, telegraphed fake punts on fourth-and-6 like the one he called against the Bears will make Bills fans long for a more by-the-book approach. "No more Mularkey moments, please," begged Sal Maiorana of the Rochester Democrat and Chronicle, referring to the trick-happy former Bills coach who now serves the club as a double agent in Miami.
The Lions are 1.5 point favorites this week, which tells you something about the Bills. This may be the last time this season that you will be asked to lay points on the Lions (it could happen again when they host the Niners). Don't touch it. If you really have the urge to bet Detroit sports, we recommend grabbing a menthol and wearing a Jeremy Bonderman jersey.
NUTSHELLS
Bengals at Buccaneers: The Bucs offense has plenty of problems, but it's their defense that is really letting them down with missed tackles and an anemic pass rush. "For us to come out of the ashes here, they're going to have to dominate," Jon Gruden said. The Bucs defense should get some penetration against an injury-riddled Bengals offensive line, but that won't be enough against the turnover-happy Bengals defense. To repeat a theme from a few weeks ago, we're still waiting for the first win of the season by a pirate-themed team. Maybe by Halloween?
DV
MUST FLEE TV
Bills at Lions: Detroit sports fans, take heart. Your Lions may be the worst franchise in the NFL, but your Tigers just knocked off the Yankees. Mike Martz may be hailed as a genius in some circles, but Jim Leyland is the real Motor City Maestro after turning a moribund franchise around in just one year.
Desperate Lions fans are now hoping to make Rod Marinelli more Leyland-like. They are encouraging him to grow a thick, bristly moustache. They are mailing him cartons of cigarettes. Unfortunately, their plan backfired. Instead of morphing into Jim Leyland, Marinelli has started emulating Citizen Kane's Jeb Leland. You can see him on the sidelines during games twirling a shredded playbook.
While Marinelli is coming to terms with the hard realities of Lions football, Dick Jauron is on a homecoming tour. Last week, his Bills were routed by a Bears team he coached to a 13-3 record in 2001. And a 4-12 record in 2002. And a 5-11 record in 2000. You get the picture. This week, he faces the Lions team he coached briefly at the end of last season. He was around just long enough to inspire a Fire Dick Jauron website.
Jauron's days as a conservative play caller appear to be behind him: he's now a fourth down gambler with a taste for trickery. Of course, telegraphed fake punts on fourth-and-6 like the one he called against the Bears will make Bills fans long for a more by-the-book approach. "No more Mularkey moments, please," begged Sal Maiorana of the Rochester Democrat and Chronicle, referring to the trick-happy former Bills coach who now serves the club as a double agent in Miami.
The Lions are 1.5 point favorites this week, which tells you something about the Bills. This may be the last time this season that you will be asked to lay points on the Lions (it could happen again when they host the Niners). Don't touch it. If you really have the urge to bet Detroit sports, we recommend grabbing a menthol and wearing a Jeremy Bonderman jersey.
NUTSHELLS
Bengals at Buccaneers: The Bucs offense has plenty of problems, but it's their defense that is really letting them down with missed tackles and an anemic pass rush. "For us to come out of the ashes here, they're going to have to dominate," Jon Gruden said. The Bucs defense should get some penetration against an injury-riddled Bengals offensive line, but that won't be enough against the turnover-happy Bengals defense. To repeat a theme from a few weeks ago, we're still waiting for the first win of the season by a pirate-themed team. Maybe by Halloween?
DV